Man, I’m punny.
Hello all Jester here. It’s been a while since I’ve done any thing for GGM, and I apologize. But I’m back to talk about the 4 issue Turtle Soup series. Featuring a 4 part Mike Dooney story as well as other short one shots by various artists and writers, Turtle Soup is a fun read for the ADHD suffer in all of us. The stories are at most six pages long and loaded with action and humor like you’d expect from the Turtles. It is however very, and I mean VERY non-canonical. So with that exposition out of the way, on to issue one!
The first short story is a “continuation” I guess of the TMNT movie parody comic Green-Grey Sponge-Suit Sushi Turtles, which I haven’t read…sue me. This short stars Toyoduh (Like the car company…I’d guess…HELP ME!!) and is called Naked City. In the short comic, Toyoduh is singing in the shower when the Sponge-Suit Sushi Turtles archenemy…um…a giant kazoo…offers to clean his glasses only to give him x-ray specks and hilarity ensues as he sees everyone as to quote Mikey from TMNT 3, “bare butt naked!” and he is arrested for being naked himself…I don’t get it. tOkKa…I need your help!
Next is the Dooney segment. (Hooray!! I love Dooney’s art style.) The Turtles are out and about, looking for food. Dooney even puts in an old toon jab by having Leo chide Mikey for suggesting pizza in favor of “real food.” Take that Fred Wolf! Meanwhile in an alternate time line and dimension…I’ll refrain from Dimension X reference…wait…CRAP!!!…we meet a nerdy alien named Henry who is working on a time travel wrist gauntlet when he is interrupted by a random date by the name of Betti Clane. In an attempt to impress her, Henry shows her the gauntlet and she presses a button and they accidentally travel to “our” dimension and they encounter the Turtles. When Betti freaks out about the green “monsters” Henry activates the gauntlet to return home and instead causes dinosaurs to be pulled into the quiet streets of Florence, Massachusetts. TO BE CONTINUED…
Next is a story about Leonardo and Splinter that takes place…close to midnight…and something evil’s lurking in the dark…er…um…sorry. This story and the last in this anthology are the reasons I wanted to review these books. It also proves that these stories aren’t canon. You see as I’ve mentioned before the Turtles in the old toon weren’t called brothers or sons much but students and friends. Here, Splinter calls Leo a friend, but goes one further that kills me. He calls him “Leo.” I know…small potatoes, but it’s weird to me (and I’m sure you don’t like this, do you Amy?) Leo does call the others his brothers though. Oh, and he and Splinter talk about the purpose of fear…
The next story is called The Ring and it’s a Donatello solo story that has him hiking in the woods, falling down a cliff and chipping his shell. Uninjured he continues his meditation and is met by a large turtle…it think…he may have imagined it…I can’t be sure. Rick McCollum’s art is awesome though.
Next is a Rick Arthur short about Raphael and a girl named Lucindra who get together to spar. Simple as that. Raph’s name is abbreviated Raff which bugs me as a Raphael fan, but now I’m just picking nits.
And now for my favorite story, TURTLE POWER!! By Rich Gehhen and Tom McWeeney. Why is it my favorite? Because it has Krang in it. Krang…in Mirage comics. Again, so not canon, but I don’t care. It’s Krang. The story has our heroes flying the Turtle Blimp in an attempt to stop Krang’s evil schemes and his wolf mutant. Rahzar is that you? In the end out heroes rule the day and we find out, in St. Elsewere fashion, that it’s all a little boy named Bart playing, and rather roughly at that, in his living room with his Turtle action figures. I hear this story was based loosely on Stephan’s real life…true story!
So there’s Turtle Soup issue 1. Stay tuned Turtle Fans, for the other servings of Turtle Soup.
–>> (( Lucindra was from TMNT v.1 # 44 as well, Bonivert of ‘The Purpose of Fear ‘ , your 3rd story there is of “Casey Jones: Muscle and Faith ” fame )) ..
In 1953 a class action lawsuit in the Bay Area of pigs was brought about by the use of phony X-ray glasses and Cleaning Services in the Area.
The Merry Maids of Cincinnati County involved in the lawsuit saw fit to help pass a a law violating the laws of physics and logic so that any Sponge Suit wearing Citizen is arrested on completion of naked X-ray glasses cleaning. Somehow the judge that help pass the ruling walked into a bar .. bumped his head and before he signed the act has somehow fell into a dry-cleaner’s RINGALUXE ™ Dry Cleaner bagging SYSTEM and used that fear to guide his prejudiced against Sponge suits.
The law did relax by 1985 for most Green Grey Sponge Suit sushi Wearing Turtles were at home with their Master Match-Stick learning ways of things and stuff as Pre-teen suit sushis.
By 1991 , the law was put back into effect.. but not til after the evil Kazoo playing “SHOOTER ” would take advantage of disguising himself as as a Glasses Cleaning Service to the Egg-headed and klutzy TOYODAH Sushi Turtle. The obsessive compulsive Sushi – Nerdle was obsessive about keeping his sponges clean so he wouldn’t get germs all over his nerdy projects, anyway. The Shooter ( who is not an evil Kazoo but a disgruntled evil Salad Shooter.. but you were close cuz again he fancies playing the kazoo in the orchestra of Harlem ) .
So anyway .. Sushi Turtles not complying with the provisional act 1200943.6 of 1953 stating that “Any Sushi Turtle Playing Ping Pong With his Wig Wam ” will be arrested in plain sight.
Sadly Toyodah’s site was not Plain and unbeknownst to the evil Shooter and his plan to thwart the showering efforts of the Nerdy Sushi it all back fired and the Nerd was out back and about talking to things and inanimate objects bare butt naked.
Luckily the X-ray Spex were entirely fabricated out of plastic so radiation to Toyodah’s eyes was minimal.
However the old lady within 20 minutes went into an epidermal coma due to the trauma of seeing the Sushi Turtle expose his wangly tail thing after he wrapped his bath towel around her.
It is a good reminder for the elderly to keep their cloths on !!
Glad i could help !!
–>> o sorry , i just walked into a bar .. and there was this Rabbi and Priest with a couple of croquet mallets and – –
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